I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
