i think i have two assholes
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I need to calm my uterus...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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