You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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