Your face is a jimmy john
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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