I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize