alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
