well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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