so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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