i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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