well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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