I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
