i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
