You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
