you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
