You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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