THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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