nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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