just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
babies were throwing up all over the place
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
