I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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