i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize