Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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