turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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