I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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