Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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