So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
