Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize