Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
