you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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