Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
