i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize