i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
