You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize