maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
