You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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