we made out on top of his cat.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
