well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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