you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
