yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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