i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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