Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
