Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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