I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
