Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize