My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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