Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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