What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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