There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
