It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There's always time for handjobs
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
