Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
