Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
