"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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