i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
