I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dick very happy bro
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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