the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The Olympian is in my bed
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
