Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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