When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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