there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
