Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
