How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Couch. On fire.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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