Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize