Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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