and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
