Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
